I'm
sitting in this coffee shop, drinking my Chai Tea Latte and fancy bottle of
water, with my MacBook Pro out, looking like a tool, so I thought to myself,
"Hey, it's June 25, I haven't written a blog since the first of May, maybe
since I already look like a writer douche, I should write."
That
brings me to this blog post. Hello, guys. Sorry if you are one of the
aforementioned writer douches. I've always thought having to go somewhere
public to write is a little pretentious, unless, I guess you have awful
roommates or something. Then I guess it makes sense. Or perhaps you have over
two full hours to kill before your train leaves and your ride only had a tiny
window of opportunity to dump you off.
As most
of you know from my twitter, I've spent the past four days (mostly)
in the far off land of Milwaukee. I spent a few hours in Chicago on Saturday
for my friend Lizette's (who I mostly refer to as my Latin Lover) birthday. I
think that's what we're going to talk about today, Chicago. I'm not quite sure,
this is honestly the most directionless blog post I've made yet. But, I had
tried to write my love letter to Chicago before, and with a few hours in the
city both in the recent past and the near future (a two hour stop between trains)
it should be a bit easier.
It has been longer since I moved from Chicago, than the entire time I lived there. Which is a weird feeling. I feel like so much of who I am happened while I lived in that city. I feel like I lived there for decades and I just moved away yesterday. In reality, I lived there two years. Two awesome life changing years. And I moved away three years ago. Don't get me wrong, I've done a LOT in the last three years. I feel like in the last three years I've checked the most off of my Grown Up Check List (though I still have infinite things to go).
I wasn't born in Chicago, I wasn't even raised in Chicago, as I said, I only lived there for two years. However, Chicago will always be a little slice of home to me. Just pulling in to the city and seeing that skyline, by train or by car, makes my heart flutter a little.
Being from a cornfield with basically nothing, the first comic shop I ever entered was in Chicago, I think it was actually the summer before I moved there that I went for the first time, but even though I wasn't really a regular, that shop will always hold a place in my heart. Even if they only had volume 3 of the Adventure Time comic when I went in. (That part was obviously added after the two hour train stop.)
Being from a cornfield with basically nothing, the first comic shop I ever entered was in Chicago, I think it was actually the summer before I moved there that I went for the first time, but even though I wasn't really a regular, that shop will always hold a place in my heart. Even if they only had volume 3 of the Adventure Time comic when I went in. (That part was obviously added after the two hour train stop.)
I just got lost on a lot of side tangents on this here internets machine, and I think this topic has to now be filed back into the maybe later category. I will say this, though, I'm not sure where my life will take me and I'm not sure what I want out of this life, but I do hope it takes me back to Chicago again, even if it is just for a little bit.
I asked twitter for vague topics and this is the first response that I got: @shrimpiclese "exploration. Gaming. Insomnia. Film. Love. Lust. Dreams. Running. Hiding. Fears. Fire. Ummm are those vague enough?"
Exploration.
I can't think of exploring without thinking of one of my best friends, Sam (Here's a link to her twitter, it's funny in her bio she lists explorer first). You know that line in the movie Stand By Me, where he talks about not having friends like the ones when you are 12? Well, Sam is that friend. When we're together, we are twelve (with the distinct advantage of being able to drive). We've lived in the same small town most of our lives (with the obvious exceptions, and she currently resides in a whole different state). Anyway, we've lived in the same small town most of our lives, and here we are, in our twenties, ready to jump on our bicycles (or in a car, if it's a lazy day) and explore. Usually we end up going to some of our same old haunts, that place by the rez that is so peaceful to both of us, that abandoned house out in the country that gives us the creep, the park up town donated by The Lions Club. But even at these same old places, there's something new to be found. Every day is an adventure, everywhere is a place to explore.
Gaming.
I already wrote a full blog talking about gaming, so I won't say much more on the subject. I will add, that in addition to our Wednesday Night record/game night (We're playing Conan in Savage Worlds right now), I play fairly regularly on Sundays in a D&D campaign with the guys (yes, the maniac Ivy is back), I FINALLY got to play with Dewalin after a decade of trying to talk him into it, all at the request of his 13 year old daughter who is learning how to play, and I made it to Monday night game and yes, my whole life is probably going to be absorbed by gaming soon. I would also like to include that gaming with a kid playing for the first time with her dad DMing is the absolute cutest :3.
Insomnia.
Anyone who follows me on Twitter, or really, anyone who knows me, knows I rendezvous frequently with that thorny wench known as insomnia. I've never been too fond of sleeping, even as a kid in grade school I would stay up late watching Nick at Nite instead of sleeping. My normal amount of sleep is between 4-6 hours per day and I've really been trying to get my act together and no longer cave in to my sleep madness, which causes me to get less than that. Though having two insomniac friends and one friend regularly working a night shift ready for a heaping pile of nonsense at 3am on Twitter doesn't help (that's Mark, Dave, and Mike).
Film.
I love film. I could go on for days about film. I could write essays about films (and I did, I went to film school after all). The worst thing about being a film nerd, is that you want to go on and on about film, but you know most people just aren't interested. So I leave it at that. Besides, the best film conversations are face to face right after experience a film together :)
Love and Lust.
I have two words, man, Moulin Rouge. Uh, like the movie, not like the actual whorehouse. Actually that has great ideas about love but I don't think it depicts any real love, maybe. I'm always skeptical of people who have known each other for like a second and call it love. To me, that's just lust. Love is when you really REALLY know someone, like you know all those sucky little things that are absolutely awful, and you still want to be with them/a part of their lives. I add the a part of their lives because love isn't always just romantic, you can love your friends, I hope you love your family. There are all different kinds of love. I love my freaking cats. Some people love a volleyball named Wilson (Note: I haven't actually seen the movie Cast Away, I know, I'm awful, whatever). It's just the way of things.
Dreams.
It's hard to talk about dreams because it could mean so many things. It could mean the things you see in your mind's eye at night or your hopes and aspirations for life. While nighttime dreams are fun and all I think I'm going to talk about the hopes and aspirations variety. After leaving Chicago (funny how things come around), I had actually lost sight of most of my dreams. My grandma had died the year before and I was still dealing with a lot of stuff. While I still don't have much direction to my dreams (I no longer want to make the next Clerks or write/draw the next big webcomic), I have slowly been regaining my passion for Art and creativity. I capitalize Art because I mean it to encompass everything, not just traditional art like drawing, painting, etc. While I never lost my passion for viewing great Art, I used to do all sorts of stuff, and for a long time, I either stopped doing it or I would have to almost force myself to do it because it was like, well I know I like this, so I guess I should probably do it. In the last year or so I feel that has really been changing. I enjoy writing again. I have ideas for stories come to me and I don't have to sit there and dig. I enjoy drawing again. At this juncture, I'm so out of practice (and I was never really good to begin with), it looks like chicken scratches or something. I actually WANT to make comics again, even if they will just stay in my sketchbook and be shown to close friends. These are all the things that I love, these are all the things I thought I had lost due to growing up, these are the things my eyes have been opened to again. I could go on and on about this. In fact when I first noticed this I did, I had a giant conversation with the aforementioned Sam, and wrote a huge journal post about it in addition. Anyway, lost dream come back, these are important dreams.
Running.
When I first read this, I thought of running in the adventure sense. You know, like in Doctor Who, where it's all about running. That's like 90% of what The Doctor and his companions do on a daily basis (probably). Then I realized, "Oh he probably means like going on runs, for exercise or whatever". So, yeah, I like running. I do it for fun and with about zero regularity these days. Running through my hometown in the middle of the night with nothing but my thoughts, my movement, and my music is completely mesmerizing to me. After a run there's also always that feeling of accomplishment, like, yeah, I did something.
Hiding.
Whenever I was little I used to love playing hide and seek. I have three siblings and while we were growing up our parent's friends had a family with 5 kids (though the youngest wasn't born until we were somewhat older). On weekends our two families would get together and the eight big kids would play hide and seek the majority of the time. We had a fairly long closet in our house that was filled with blankets. The blankets weren't folded, they were just thrown in there because that is the only thing we used that closet for. My favorite place was if you could get far enough back in the blanket closet and cover yourself just right, you could hide for days. Except it was usually the middle of the summer, and way too hot, so you hid there for about five seconds and then tried to sneak out and get to base. Anyway, to this day I still assess where the best hiding place is in any given room. I will never stop playing.
Fears.
My biggest fear is that while I'm sleeping a spider will crawl into my brain and either live there or lay eggs... And not Eggs like my cat, just regular baby spider eggs. But I'm going to admit that's an irrational fear.
Fire.
Um, fires are bad? or good? depending on what's on fire? Bonfires/Weenie Roasts and the like are about one of my favorite Summer/Fall activities.
And so we end the suggestions, thanks again for giving me ideas @shrimpiclese!
Note: After writing part of this it was time to book it to the train station. Now two days later I remembered I had an unfinished blog post sitting in drafts. So, half of this was written in a caffeine-induced haze of lunacy and half of this was written on break from work with a kitten lying next to me purring. See if you can tell which is which.
Love and Lust.
I have two words, man, Moulin Rouge. Uh, like the movie, not like the actual whorehouse. Actually that has great ideas about love but I don't think it depicts any real love, maybe. I'm always skeptical of people who have known each other for like a second and call it love. To me, that's just lust. Love is when you really REALLY know someone, like you know all those sucky little things that are absolutely awful, and you still want to be with them/a part of their lives. I add the a part of their lives because love isn't always just romantic, you can love your friends, I hope you love your family. There are all different kinds of love. I love my freaking cats. Some people love a volleyball named Wilson (Note: I haven't actually seen the movie Cast Away, I know, I'm awful, whatever). It's just the way of things.
Dreams.
It's hard to talk about dreams because it could mean so many things. It could mean the things you see in your mind's eye at night or your hopes and aspirations for life. While nighttime dreams are fun and all I think I'm going to talk about the hopes and aspirations variety. After leaving Chicago (funny how things come around), I had actually lost sight of most of my dreams. My grandma had died the year before and I was still dealing with a lot of stuff. While I still don't have much direction to my dreams (I no longer want to make the next Clerks or write/draw the next big webcomic), I have slowly been regaining my passion for Art and creativity. I capitalize Art because I mean it to encompass everything, not just traditional art like drawing, painting, etc. While I never lost my passion for viewing great Art, I used to do all sorts of stuff, and for a long time, I either stopped doing it or I would have to almost force myself to do it because it was like, well I know I like this, so I guess I should probably do it. In the last year or so I feel that has really been changing. I enjoy writing again. I have ideas for stories come to me and I don't have to sit there and dig. I enjoy drawing again. At this juncture, I'm so out of practice (and I was never really good to begin with), it looks like chicken scratches or something. I actually WANT to make comics again, even if they will just stay in my sketchbook and be shown to close friends. These are all the things that I love, these are all the things I thought I had lost due to growing up, these are the things my eyes have been opened to again. I could go on and on about this. In fact when I first noticed this I did, I had a giant conversation with the aforementioned Sam, and wrote a huge journal post about it in addition. Anyway, lost dream come back, these are important dreams.
Running.
When I first read this, I thought of running in the adventure sense. You know, like in Doctor Who, where it's all about running. That's like 90% of what The Doctor and his companions do on a daily basis (probably). Then I realized, "Oh he probably means like going on runs, for exercise or whatever". So, yeah, I like running. I do it for fun and with about zero regularity these days. Running through my hometown in the middle of the night with nothing but my thoughts, my movement, and my music is completely mesmerizing to me. After a run there's also always that feeling of accomplishment, like, yeah, I did something.
Hiding.
Whenever I was little I used to love playing hide and seek. I have three siblings and while we were growing up our parent's friends had a family with 5 kids (though the youngest wasn't born until we were somewhat older). On weekends our two families would get together and the eight big kids would play hide and seek the majority of the time. We had a fairly long closet in our house that was filled with blankets. The blankets weren't folded, they were just thrown in there because that is the only thing we used that closet for. My favorite place was if you could get far enough back in the blanket closet and cover yourself just right, you could hide for days. Except it was usually the middle of the summer, and way too hot, so you hid there for about five seconds and then tried to sneak out and get to base. Anyway, to this day I still assess where the best hiding place is in any given room. I will never stop playing.
Fears.
My biggest fear is that while I'm sleeping a spider will crawl into my brain and either live there or lay eggs... And not Eggs like my cat, just regular baby spider eggs. But I'm going to admit that's an irrational fear.
Fire.
Um, fires are bad? or good? depending on what's on fire? Bonfires/Weenie Roasts and the like are about one of my favorite Summer/Fall activities.
And so we end the suggestions, thanks again for giving me ideas @shrimpiclese!
Note: After writing part of this it was time to book it to the train station. Now two days later I remembered I had an unfinished blog post sitting in drafts. So, half of this was written in a caffeine-induced haze of lunacy and half of this was written on break from work with a kitten lying next to me purring. See if you can tell which is which.
A rambling good read. Keep it up!
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